In-laws and Out-laws

One clear problem I have is reconciling my chronological age with my maturity.  I wish the real issue was reconciling my age with a surprisingly youthful appearance, but no luck there!

Anyway, when I took my first job after college I felt like an imposter.  I think I had my teenage rebellion at age 25 or so.   I hoped that graduate school would instill me with a sense of being an important adult, but it really didn’t either.  Now, getting married at 35 seemed right in keeping with my delayed timeline, but, despite my age,  I wasn’t necessarily prepared for the delicate task of being an in-law.

I tried referencing my mother’s example.  She seemed to do well with my grandmother, theirs was a relationship built on mutual respect and clear boundaries.  But how many years had that relationship taken to form?  With other in-laws, she seemed to have her ups and downs.  I hoped to do better.  Surely, all my great skills as a clinical social worker would help me avoid any pitfalls!

Ha, ha, ha!  Forging two families together, along with their past histories, family cultures and unique quirks is a lifelong challenge.  I don’t care who you are.  Before your eyes get too wide opened in disbelief, just know this post isn’t an exposé on my in-laws because they really aren’t the problem.  (Some of them occasionally read this blog, by the way…)  It’s just they are different from the family I was raised in.  And differences just present obstacles from time to time.

It makes you wonder how any of us can choose a partner at all since we come from such diverse backgrounds.  But that ‘love is blind’ thing kicks in and rational decision making is out the nearest window.  Commitment to a spouse makes the blending happen.  But are you committed to his/her family, too?  What a downer of a question for me to ask…

As Thanksgiving is just around the corner, may I suggest food can become a common thread for two families?  Everyone likes to please others with cooking and everyone also likes being complimented on their dishes.  And sincerely asking for a recipe might just send an in-law over the moon in family bliss.  (Which is precisely where you might want them.)

Curt’s Aunt Faith impressed me from the beginning as someone who knew how hard the adjustment to blending families was and seemed to take extra time and effort to help me feel included at family reunions.  So I’m grateful to her and also happy to share with you her recipe for a dip, which my sister-in-law Nevon actually passed on to me.  The dip is simple, delicious and perfect for both veggies and potato chips.

 

 

Aunt Faith’s Dip

1 cup mayonnaise

1 cup sour cream

1 1/2 tsp seasoned salt*

1 1/2 tsp dried dill weed

1 tsp dried parsley flakes

Combine all ingredients well and chill for at least 2 hours before serving.

*The seasoned salt listed in the recipe is “Bon Appetit” from McCormick.  Since it has MSG, which I don’t use in cooking, I instead used Lawry’s.  I admit the Bon Appetit leaves the dip as an A+++ while the other seasoned salt makes a regular A grade.  While researching this post, I found a recommendation of substituting  equal parts onion powder and celery salt.  I plan to try it next time to see if that combination mimics the Bon Appetit flavor better.